thirteen candles
by gunpowder perfume
Summary: 13 drabbles -- blow out the candles, one by one. today you turn thirteen, and there’s no turning back.


thirteen**candles**  
_blow out the candles_

【誕生日】  
tanjoubi

i. _it's what they whisper that matters_  
Alice and Sora. Sora and Alice. Things had always been that way. People just couldn't understand why Sora was friends with Alice; they also didn't understand why Alice was friends with Sora. They whispered things, you see. They told of horrible lies and untrue statements. They were liars, all of them. They didn't understand why the perfectly sane hero hung around Alice. They didn't understand why the little mad Alice hung around Sora. So they whispered things, they whispered, trying to hurt the two of them. But it didn't matter. It had always been Alice and Sora, Sora and Alice.

ii. _it's a good year for murder  
_He swung the silver key around, battling the dark shadows surging up to him. Their hungry yellow eyes bore into him, disappearing into nothing and releasing the hearts they had taken once the silver tip of his blade hit their dark bodies. He gasped as they overwhelmed him, screaming as his vision faded. It was growing harder and harder to breathe as he struggled against the mass of shadows. Donald and Goofy's desperate cries and attempts to save him were futile as their voices grew distant. His eyes closed shut, and could almost hear Kairi whisper, "Everything will be alright."

iii. _there's no tears 'cause he's not here_  
"Cloud, why won't you stay?" She would plead, green eyes locking with your blue ones while she has her fingers intertwined with yours. "I'm sorry." You would answer softly, fully knowing that her question wasn't for you. But it didn't matter. She made you feel real. She had flung herself onto you that faithful day, delusional, you suppose, crying asking about where this Cloud person had been. It didn't matter, not to you. You love how she caresses your hair and how she lets you plant kisses on her petal soft cheeks, how she whispers 'I love you' and you smile, answering back. This wasn't love, though. Just desperately hanging onto something that made you feel good. "Hey, Cloud, how long are you staying for this time?" Your eyes would leave hers and conjure up a faux smile, _"_Tomorrow." She would then proceed to plead you not to go. You never do, do you Roxas?

iv._ i'm always sunshine, aren't i?_  
Olette waits, she waits for the prince charming to come sweep her off her feet, she waits and waits for her hero to come save her from the tower, and she waits and waits and waits for her happy ending. Olette envies, she envies Kairi for having a hero to come and save her, she envies Selphie for her optimistic thinking, and she envies the pretty girls for making all the heads turn when they're in the room. Olette loves, she loves her family, she loves and loves her boys, and she loves and loves and loves the boy who was never supposed to exist in the first place. You're not supposed to love a person who was never supposed to exist. _How could you?_ Sora would tell her with a gentle smile. _You've never met him before, don't be sad._ Kairi would whisper whenever she came by. _I won't._ Olette would answer. But she's lying, because she's always sunshine.

v. _guess what i'm done, writing you songs_  
So she listens to him whisper, his silver hair mingling with her gold locks, pressing his lips against her ear. Whispering, he was whispering, comforting lies and vows to protect her. He whispers about saving her, talks about taking her back to where they belonged. He whispers, holding her hand, silver mingling with gold. She listens, listens to all the tales he had came up of once they were back where they belonged, where they were loved, and how much he loves her. She wanted to tell him, tell him that they didn't belong, tell him that she couldn't be loved, and how she couldn't love him in return, no matter how much he loves her. Tell him that he couldn't love her because he was buy a doll, just like her.

vi. _yeah, we're only ashes_  
She saw the fire he loved so much, watching those photographs burn to crisp, leaving only ashes behind. She smelt the smoke curling up the sky like a thin black ribbon, swirling lazily until it disappeared. She saw the flames dance, her blue eyes glittering as their light illuminated the darkening surroundings. She felt the heat, smelled the smoke, and it made her happy. More photographs, a few letters and even his jacket her left at her house; they all fell into the fire. The flames started to beg, beg to be fed. She could on comply, and watch the blazing flames go out of control, growing bigger and bigger.

vii. _i'm willing to break myself_  
Sometimes, just sometimes, Tifa wonders if Cloud was ever worth it. She would sit in a bar musing that over, demanding one drink after another until she was, undeniably, drunk. Someone who knew her would eventually take her home, as they knew from experience, if Tifa's lights weren't on by eleven, she was at the bar. She never listened when they told her not to drink, never, she would just continue. It washed away problems, and she didn't have to care. Everyone said Tifa was strong, until one certain person stood up and practically yelled, "You're not you're just breaking yourself." Maybe the kid was right.

viii. _these empty feelings question me_  
The days were awfully lonely, and the nights horribly cold, every time she climbed in bed and closed her eyes. Hoping, just hoping he would come back someday, any day, today, tomorrow. Then the days wouldn't be so awfully lonely, and the nights wouldn't be so cold, so every time she climbed in bed and closed her eyes, she didn't have to hope. He loves me, he loves me not… Petals would fall onto the sparkling sand as she twirls the broken flower between her fingers, questioning, asking herself, "Why am I still waiting?"

ix. _i don't want to be a fool for you_  
He's lying, and she knows it. It's in his eyes, you know? Besides Naminé knows when people lie to her. She wasn't a fool. "It's nothing…" He would retort, his face turning crimson red. She would say nothing, holding up her latest drawing to her face or reading a book he had brought. Always so thoughtful, you know? Reminded her of him, yet less blissful, she supposed. Different, yet the same. Sometimes he would whisper things, just like he would do, and Naminé decides that she is a fool because he would never lie when he whispers.

x. _living in a world, created to destroy_  
Larxene is strange, even for Nobody standards. She watches as cities fall and crumble to dust, laughing. Sometimes her comrades would join along, other times they would just wordlessly teleport back to The World That Never Was. It never bothered her though. She loves to listen to the cries for help, because isn't that what the world was? Kill or be killed. Maybe that was why the Keyblade Master was so keen on defeating her. She only did harm to this world.

xi. _and we promise each other it was 'til the end_  
Best friends, that was what they were. The best of friends. Axel thought it was quite odd, battling his best friend, trying to get him to remember. But wasn't that what friends did? They helped other friends. Perhaps he may never truly understand the meaning of friendship; after all, they didn't feel. They were just lifeless beings who were just there, never feeling, Maybe that would be all they could be. Unfeeling shells.

xii._ i can't whisper all of this_  
Perfect lies, each and every one of them. Smiling lies, brighter and brighter until it hurt. Queen Minnie wanted to scream. There was a war going on, how could they still remain so cheerful and calm? She had already lost her husband, who was out there somewhere, battling. Now she was losing all of her friends, who one by one went to battle. Yet they all continued to pretend, pretend that everything was alright. Minnie couldn't pretend anymore. It hurt to pretend.

xiii._ happy birthday to you…_  
Thirteen, the number of maturity, they say. When you turn thirteen many things would happen. It marked the end of your childhood. Kairi wonders. She wonders if her world would always stay the same the day she turned thirteen. But it didn't, it never stayed the same. She lost her heart when she turned fourteen, and forgot her best friend all the way up to her fifteenth birthday. Things were never the same again.

* * *

**footnotes:** i turn thirteen today, and this fic marks this day. i honestly have no clue where my brain went when i wrote this. 13 drabbles.

original kh cast & disney characters © square enix/disney  
text © waraenai 2008


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